It’s hard to review a sequel of a movie without constantly going back to the first one for comparison. A very experienced and professional movie critic will be able to objectively/subjectively review a movie in and of itself and review all of its merits based solely on what the movie was, not what it wasn’t compared to another one…
Being just a regular guy who loves movies, I can tell you this, this movie doesn’t come close to the first one in overall entertainment value. I did not enjoy myself at the theater as much as I did when I watched the first one. In comparison, this film is a lackluster attempt at a cash cow sequel.
Speaking in terms of this movie alone, I really didn’t like it. I really wanted to like it, I really wanted it to be enjoyable and worthwhile, I really wanted to see a successful sequel…and in the end, with those expectations, it failed.
It really failed. From the plot that bounces all over the place, to the horrible acting of the two main stars, to the over-cussing robots, to the absolutely inappropriate sexual humor and innuendos, even to the big CGI robot fights, I mean, it really failed. I couldn’t grab a hold of anything of substance throughout the entire film.
Alright, so the acting is bad but the fighting robots will be killer…nope. Oh well, at least the explosions and the action will be excellent…nope. At least the humor will be enough to carry the movie through, right? Nope.
I realize that my expectations going into the film may have been misplaced and unfair. A lot of people that I have talked to have said that the movie is more enjoyable if you walk into it expecting nothing. And while I am sure that’s true in some sense, I don’t like going into movies without any expectations. I want the movie, the director, the studio, the trailers, all of it, to build in me some sort of expectation…I like the expectation, it means that I am hoping for excellence. I don’t want a film to rely on me to expect nothing from it, that doesn’t give me any confidence in what they have put together.
In this version of Transformers we rejoin with Sam (Shia LeBeouf) as he prepares to go away to college, leaving behind his loony parents and his overly sexual girlfriend Michaela (Megan Fox) to pine over him. Sam is again called upon by the Autobots to help them save the world from an ancient Cybertron bad guy named “Fallen.” Let the action and the cussing and the slo-mo escapes from explosions ensue.
Along the way we are introduced to a number of new Autobots and Decepticons and some of the very reasons why this film failed. First, there are two new Autobots that I think are supposed to be ghetto twins who can’t read, who speak in street slang, and who have gold teeth…yes, I know, they are robots. Throughout the film, they are cussing, fighting with each other, using so much slang that you’d think they are high school students, and all the while, never really adding anything to the film. Their job was to stay with Sam and Michaela to protect them and what they really did was just waste screen time. I think it was just a cheap way to garnish laughs from the 15-17 crowd. On the other side of the battle, we are introduced to some new Decepticons, and the one that stood out to me the most as being completely silly is this little Radio Controlled Monster Truck that spoke in a Brooklyn accent that at one point was humping Megan Fox’s leg. I’ll let that one simmer in you for a bit before I go any further….
Why did Michael Bay try so hard to make this movie so modern? What’s the point of having robots from another planet speak and talk like teenagers? Is it as simple as him wanting to attract the largest audience he can? I know that teenagers spend money and account for most, if not all, of the box office earnings of a film, but is that worth sacrificing quality content for money? The obvious answer is of course, this is Hollywood. There’s nothing funny or entertaining about robots swearing and using sexually explicit jokes…alright, so maybe I laughed outloud when John Turturro was standing under Devastator’s “robot balls” and said “I am directly below the enemy’s scrotum” but that was it. I just can’t believe that this was marketed at a PG-13 audience, if I had a 13yr. old, I wouldn’t take them to see this. The opening scene with Megan Fox alone is worth keeping your kids away…in fact, any scene with her in it is worth censoring. Either due to her overly sexual appearance or her horrendous acting.
What was good about this film? The parents of Sam are a highlight for me. Casting aside the mom’s scene with the brownies, I thought they had an excellent role in this film and I was glad to see Michael Bay include them some more. Their banter with each other is priceless, it almost sounded ad-libbed a lot of the times. I think they add a great sense of relief to all of the chaos that is going on with the exploding robots and the life and death struggles. I also liked Sam’s new roomate at college, Leo, played wonderfully by Ramon Rodriguez, a crazy, girl-obsessed computer hacker who runs an Internet conspiracy site about, of course, robots. His fear and insanity throughout the entire movie was pretty funny and I thought, like Sam’s parents, he added some much needed levity at times when Transformers was taking itself too seriously.
If you are a fan of Transformers, then you will enjoy this movie. If you are looking to spend $9-$10 on a summer blockbuster popcorn flick where you don’t have to think or engage your mind at all, and you have approximately 2 and a half hours to spend, then you will like this film. But, if you are like me, and are hoping for a much better sequel to the first one, I think you will be severely disappointed.
Content Warning: Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of sci-fi action violence, language, some crude and sexual material, and brief drug material. If you are a parent wanting to take your younger teenager to this film, go watch it by yourself first and decide whether or not your child can handle it. I wouldn’t recommend it to young teenagers, or even teenagers in general. It’s too sexual for a fun-loving robot movie.
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Drew
wow. Coming from blockbuster dan, this is surprising. I think you are way over the top on most of your comments in this review! I enjoyed the movie. I went in expecting something similar to the first one, and that is what i got. Action Packed, cheesy humor, and robots.
Having a baby is getting to you. You better rename your blog TruthOnKidsCinema.com and stick to only reviewing Max Lucado’s animated films!
July 14, 2009 at 2:46 pm
Dan
Well, with expectations that low, no wonder you came out happy!!
Like I said in the review, I know that walking into one of these movies with low expectations affords you a different movie experience, but I don’t want to do that! I’m tired of studios and people wanting me to lower my expectations just so I can enjoy a sloppy and poorly put-together film.
If we as the general public want better and more excellent films, then we have to be able to stand against the mainstream “action packed, cheesy humor, and robots” crowd and say that this movie wasn’t good enough!
To Michael Bay: Give us more! Next time, don’t settle.
July 14, 2009 at 2:57 pm
Drew
You are talking about a movie that is about robots from another planet, that talk and have human emotions and transform into just about anything. What are you really expecting?
I didnt lower my expectations of what i think a good film is at all to see this movie. I took it for what it was, and for what is was, i thought is was good.
I dont walk into Taco Bell and expect Mi Cocina everytime. I know walking into taco bell exactly the kind of food im going to get and the quality of food im going to get. Therefore I am not disappointed, thinking, “I’m tired of fast food chains and people wanting me to lower my expectations just so I can enjoy a sloppy and poorly put-together beef taco.”
July 15, 2009 at 12:31 pm
Dan
I didn’t walk into Transformers and expect Slumdog Millionaire or the wonderful Frost/Nixon, but I did expect to watch a movie that attempted to put forth a reasonably excellent film as film’s go.
Films are said to contain plot, action, conflict, story, character development, a climax, resolution, pace, continuity, a purpose…and judging by those factors, factors of a film, I found it to be a failure.
Sure, robots blew stuff up and cars crashed and famous monuments were obliterated by CG, if that’s it, then it was a success.
July 15, 2009 at 12:56 pm
Donna
Wow so much discussion..I love it..I think one of the reasons my hubby and I enjoyed last year’s Indiana Jones movie was our low expectations about it. We had heard, from many, about the quality of the movie but we have always loved that character, Harrison Ford and the whole series. And I think that kind of an attitude going into the movie, we enjoyed it more than others we knew. You can call it low expectations, but I think sometimes in going to certain movies, it helps if you have it..
July 16, 2009 at 10:54 am
Steven Jones
I absolutely hated this movie. BECAUSE of how much I love the first one. In fact, I’m not sure how I feel about the third movie now… I hope it redeems the series, but at the same time, I hate to own only the first and last movie in a trilogy. I might end up just pretending that only the first movie actually exists (much like I do with the Pirate of the Caribbean franchise). And this is coming from the aforementioned “teenage target audience.” A lot of my friends did enjoy it, though… comments mostly were about how pretty Megan Fox is and how hard core the robot action was. Mostly, I was a little offended by the fact that the Autobots, formerly underdogs in combat, suddenly kick everyone’s butt. I mean, even in losing, Optimus Prime owns all for a good ten minutes. What made the combat in the first movie good was that it was balanced. I’d like to see more of the original group of soldiers and a lot less contrived Autobot tack-ons. Finally, I want to see Sam (and in fact most of the cast) do something that is necessary for any character: change. We’re supposed to watch our characters grow and learn, but mostly Sam is still a whiny idiot who is hard to like.
October 15, 2009 at 5:21 pm
Dan
Finally, I want to see Sam (and in fact most of the cast) do something that is necessary for any character: change. We’re supposed to watch our characters grow and learn, but mostly Sam is still a whiny idiot who is hard to like.
Brilliantly said!
October 16, 2009 at 9:08 am
Watchman
To use a terminology better known as a Bushism… this movie sequel was “dummified”. It integrated needless amounts of street slang, potty-mouth humor, and sexually gratuitous scenes. I mean, come on… Megan Fox might as well have not worn anything in this movie. There was no entertainment value in this movie whatsoever, although the special effects rocked. At times it looked like Bay had to fill in some gaps by placing in said slang, humor, and sex. Like you said, it was a way for Bay to make a bit more cash.
Peace.
December 29, 2009 at 12:16 am
Dan
Watchman, I couldn’t agree with you more! Michael Bay has earned himself, in my opinion, the nickname of “Mr. Over-Rated-Over-Hyped-Over-Sexed” Director of 2009.
I look forward to hearing more from you in the upcoming 2010 movie season.
December 29, 2009 at 3:38 pm
johnny thunders
this is one of the absolute top five worst films i have ever watched. at least the first one was fun to laugh at because it was so bad, this one was embarrassing. it was racist and condescending and just all around annoying. the story didn’t make sense and contradicted it self so much, and one of the robots had testicles.
the best review i’ve ever heard of this film said that it suffered from a general lack of adult supervision. i whole heartedly agreed.
December 31, 2009 at 10:23 pm